Last night, Lily decided she needed to be awake late at night and then, when she finally passed out, I could not. I stayed up for a while reading through a book I've been anticipating reading for a few months now, "The Duggars: 20 and counting!" The first half of the book goes over their story, from their own childhoods, before they were married and up until the present time. They often mentioned praying thoroughly through different decisions and situations, as well as praying together as a couple. They also spoke of the trouble, NOT praying about something before doing it, had caused them.
I was convicted.
For some time, I've known that I needed "to pray more", but that really wasn't the answer and every time I tried to "pray more" I never stuck with it for long. Then a few months ago, right after I gave birth to our precious Lily, we were invited to join a small group at our church (something we had been praying about for a awhile). We gladly accepted the invitation to check it out and have been blessed ever since by our group of special friends whom we study the bible with once a week and see at church on Sundays. Shortly after beginning our time with our small group, we began reading and studying through the book "Desiring God" by John Piper. It has been thought provoking to say the very least! We're just three chapters in to it and the defining theme is, we were not only made to glorify God, but we were made to DESIRE God, to find joy in him first, to have our driving passion be for HIM, not just his works and the good deeds he desires for us to do.
These thoughts have been simmering in my mind for the last three months and I have been desperately trying to understand what in the world it means to "desire" God. God ultimately wants to be UPMOST in our affections and our desires. He really does want us to seek to know HIM and have a relationship WITH him, not just a one-sided occassional conversation I call "prayer".
I've also had the thoughts of memorizing scripture simmering in the back of my mind as well. God speaks to us in these days and times, primarily through his Word, the Holy Scriptures. He desires me to mediate on his word and to "write it on the tablet" of my heart. How is the possible if I don't even KNOW his word without having to look it up each and every time? Especially for me, I have my hands full most of the time with the 5 precious children God has given me, how in the world can I mediate on scripture if it is not already in my head?
Just my thoughts.... toodles!