James 1:14-15

The last few weeks have just been amazing! I have felt like an entirely new person. Then came Monday.... I got so sidelined by emotions and selfishness, it was ridiculous! So last night, I devoted some time to talking with the Lord and searching His Word for WHY I got so sidelined SO easily. I had started studying James last week so I started there.

James 1:6-8 & 1:14-15 says

⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ Those who doubt should not think they will receive anything from the Lord; ⁸ they are double-minded and unstable in all they do.

"¹⁴ but each of you is tempted when you are dragged away by your own evil desire and enticed. ¹⁵ Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."

I made a list of my "evil desires" or just desires that can very easily lead me into being double minded because as I mediated on it, I felt very "unstable". How could I suddenly go from really walking closely towards the Lord and then all of the sudden I'm a selfish, cranky person? It was me "evil desires" that lead me to this place. Desiring both God and all these other things. My PRIMARY desire should be God himself before all else. Here is my list of desires that I wrote down last night; maybe you can identify with some of them. Some are not "evil" per say, but can easily replace my deep desire for God himself.

• a deep desire for a good story, either movie, book, news, etc
• my desire to work independently and appear in control when I actually am not
• my desire for instant gratification
• my desire to put my own wants first
• my desire to look perfect
• my desire to control the things which I can not/should not control
• my desire to talk about MYSELF
• my desire to be lazy

Can you relate to any of those?

A passage to mediate on concerning God's sovereignty:

Psalm 127

"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat- for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior are the children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court."