Nate's working, the kids are eating peanut butter on bagels and giggling at absolutely nothing... and Peter is rambling in nonsense sounds behind me :) I wish I could come up with something special to say, but nothing is coming. I feel a bit lonely with out my DH here, but he'll be home in a few hours so I'm trying not to let it get me down.
We'll be going to a cook out later to celebrate a friend's birthday. I have to say these particular friends of mine have a very special place in my heart :) and I very much look forward to spending time with them today. I keep thinking that it will be a busy afternoon with all the kids running around and then I am reminded that this time next year I'll be chasing 5... and 4 doesn't seem so bad.
I've been weaning off my depression meds because of my pregnancy and it's made things a little harder than I think they would be if I were on full meds. It's taken a long time for me to actually admit it, but I've suffered from genuine depression for a long time. It's not that sad, I'm crying depression. It's more like the, "I just want to lay down on the floor and do nothing" depression. I always chalked it up to me being lazy (which I'm sure is true too) but there are days when I just CAN'T make myself get up and do what I need to do. Unless you've been there, it's hard to understand how someone "can't" make themselves do something.
I also have up days and down days. I'll have one day where I'm feeling great and get things done, but then the next day I feel like someone put a very large weight on me and hardly anything gets done. It's a pretty regular pattern, but this past week it seems like it's just all been "down". I go to my midwife the week of the 26th so hopefully I can get something arranged then, because with four children and an awesome hubby, I just CAN'T lay on the floor all day and do nothing. I need to be able to function.
Okay, I'm done rambling. Thanks for listening.